Burnout

I was reading Ladies Home Journal today, I don't know if it came from my mom, my neighbor, or where, but now it resides on the back of the toilet. (Maybe Kevin could not find his Newsweek in time....) My point being that I don't think I have a subscription to this magazine.

I stumbled upon an article about refreshing your life. Would it not be great to have a refresh button to help us out of those mundane spots of time where the ordinary is sucking all the oxygen from the room? It says that the best way to keep a marriage fresh and happy is to spend 36 hours apart from your kids together every six weeks. UH--Okay... I think the last time Kevin and I spent 36 hours without kids was in Europe when the triplets were about 10 months old. Seriously Hadley's birth was a vacation. I cried the day I was discharged. Where do you suppose that LHJ would suggest that I get people who want to volunteer to watch my five kids for 36 hours without guilt, rearranging the world's schedules, or costing an entire life savings to get them together with said kids?

I am not complaining, well maybe a little, after all, I think I have the slacker parenting down to an art that allows me to take a few hours here and there now and then, but 36 in a row? With my husband? PLEASE! We joke that we cannot both die because there is nobody we know who would embrace doing this everyday for the next 15 years. That statement is based both on the number of kids, and the fact that 3 of them will always be the same age, not meant to reflect on the kids themselves. I really don't have a clue how a single parent does this every day alone, THAT is simply amazing. I know there are many people who have a much, much tougher road than I do. I thank God every day for healthy kids, financial stability, and the millions of other blessings that he provides our family. There are just some days that I feel burned out. I feel less than great at this.

Today I was a lousy mom. I did not feel well. It think I am fighting a bug or something, but I really felt that if one more kid asked for one more snack, drink, or towel to clean up a spill, I might not survive the afternoon. That said, when I was tucking these beautiful kids into bed tonight, their hugs, kisses, and I love yous were enough fuel to make it through another day, and that is what God offers me-- the strength to make it one day at a time.