So we wander through life thinking we know what the hell we are doing. So. Not.True. We fretted, and prayed, and prepared for this move. I felt ready. Then all of the sudden it was here. Things got real very fast. I had to wrap my mind, heart, and in some cases my arms around leaving people I truly love, and everything familiar. Every day the tears still arrive at the dumbest moments. When I unpack a soccer jersey, or when I realize that I cannot just meet my friend for lunch, or when I see the overwhelming size of the pile of stuff still to do... None of it would change my decision, but it is hard to understand the impact of a move on a family until you do it. The only home 4/5 of my kids have ever known was a lovely, comfortable suburban paradise/nightmare (depended on the day). We knew people, places, the schools, the everything.
We are suddenly in a very, very, different place. We are in a rental house, not one we would ever have chosen, but one that was available. One that would be enough. We are in a smaller town riding a never ending roller coaster. Nothing works quite right. Nothing falls right into place. Nothing is a perfect fit. The house I had never seen is WAY dirtier and more neglected than anywhere I have ever lived. The kids are way more emotional than I could have imagined. The distance between my old life and this one is the grand canyon, not just a 2.5 hour drive up I-80.
I have scrambled to find health care, as Jillian broke her foot last weekend, and Hadley had to have a strep culture yesterday. Just one more thing to change.
BUT... My son is happy, and frankly I have not seen this kind of happy from him in a long, long time. He joined the cross country team, meaning that he is diversifying for the first time since 8th grade. Life is more than just swimming.
My house, while really ugly provides a roof for my family to be together. My neighbors seem really glad that we are here. (I think we give them hope that the house will be renovated) After a few days my kids seemed to have adjusted and do not think of the place as "old and scary" anymore...
It is time to cut the final physical tie to Naperville. Our house NEEDS to sell. It has never looked better and is totally move-in ready. We dropped the price, and are prepared to take the financial hit. Yet another potential buyer is coming back today for a second look. I don't don't even know how to pray this one, other than to say, "it is all in your hands Lord, and that will be trusted. "
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